Small Town Girl

I silently aged another year yesterday. Yes it was my b’day but didn’t feel like it at all. Surprisingly, I had a tendency this time to almost forget abt it. I had to consciously remind myself that my b’day was approaching. I have always been good with dates (that would probably be an understatement according to some of my college friends) and I remember and wish people on time. I used to make a lot of efforts to make the birthday baby’s day special, if it was someone close but not anymore. Ahh I miss the good old days so so much. :(

Many of those who are in my age group, would agree that ageing another year, or rather your birthday is no great day, nothing to look forward to as you try to battle with that sinking feeling that you are getting *old*. There was a time, when birthdays were a big deal. As a child one keeps waiting to quickly grow up and get out of school. Once there, you yearn to grow up fast and be independent. No rules and cash that is your own seem like nirvana. “Been there, done that”, leads you to this stage, where I am in no hurry to grow any older than what I already am.

It only translates into one word – PRESSURE. Pressure to grow more be more responsible, pressure to earn more than that glamorous girl in your office, pressure from parents to get married and once that would happen pressure to produce some kids coz all this while your biological clock is ticking away. It’s just not in sync with you, you who keeps trying to make yourself believe that you are still young at heart.

Slowly but surely, it has changed from a time to think of what all you want to do ahead in life, to counting and feeling miserable about what all you *still* could not get done. I spent half of my previous year feeling aghast that I was going to turn another year older in a couple of months. No more of that. Someone said life begins at 40 or was it 30 or maybe it was 23. Who cares?